Looking for Graves

As I may have mentioned, I wish I had a nickel for each time someone asked me what my plans were for retirement. The last month or so that I was a working man my stock reply was, "My wife and I will be looking for graves." At the very least, this resulted in a shocked, wide eyed look from the inquisitor. Most needed to pick their jaw up from the floor and dust off their chins.

To ease their obvious concern about my health, both physical and mental, I explain about Find-a-Grave.  My wife and I discovered Find-a-Grave a few years ago when a long-retired choir director from a neighboring town came to our Lions Club meeting as the guest speaker. Apparently it is also a good way for long-retired widowers to meet women, since our guest speaker had two female companions, both widowed!

Find-a-Grave is an online community of folks seeking photographs of family members' headstones, and volunteers willing to search cemeteries and take those photos. Most of the requests come from people doing genealogical research, live far from the area where a family member is buried, and want a photo of that family member's final resting place. It is like going to visit a family member's grave without leaving home. Most of those requesting photos are also volunteer photographers for cemeteries near him or her. What is unique about Find-a-Grave is that the researchers create virtual memorial pages on the website. This memorial serves as a tribute to their loved ones, and provides information for those researching a shared family tree. The website for Find-a-Grave is http://www.findagrave.com

If you wish to volunteer to take photos, there are two ways to do so. First, you can make yourself available for requests. I went that route first, but soon changed my status on Find-a-Grave because I was receiving at least five photo requests per day. Since I was still working when I joined Find-a-Grave, this was impractical. For me, it is still impractical now that I'm retired. I do have other things I enjoy!

The other route to go is to pick specific cemeteries you wish to visit, check what monuments members have requested photos of, and then go looking for graves!

My picture taking is much different than our Lions Club speaker's method. My wife and I take our lists of  graves we are seeking and divide up rows of markers. When either of us find one of our targets, I whip out my camera du jour and snap the photo. Which camera I use depends on what I feel like carrying around that day. I usually use a nicer compact Canon, though I often use my little Nikon Coolpix that fits in my pocket. The wife brings her big ol' Canon DSLR on rare occasions. Anyway, we might pull a weed or two before we snap the headstone. I usually take pictures of both the front and back of the monument.

Our Lions Club speaker goes a little further than we do. Actually, he goes a lot farther! Since he spends a great deal of his grave hunting time in the largest cemetery in our county (it has about 15,500 interments), he bought a book listing the names, dates and locations of those buried there. That runs around $70. Once he locates his target headstone, he clips the grass around the marker. Then, he takes a bucket, soft bristle brush and a sponge and washes the headstone. After drying it with a towel, he takes his photographs with a high-end DSLR camera. He then imports that picture into Photoshop and adds beautiful green grass all around the headstone. While this isn't an accurate depiction of the grave, he says the requester loves the thought that their relative is resting eternally in such a wonderful place. I guess I am either a crass realist or just plain lazy. It is probably more of the latter than the former.

Why did we decide to do Find-a-Grave? Well, it gets us outside and walking. We do a lot of walking on our Find-a-Grave sessions. There is much local history laid to rest in cemeteries, and a wide variety of interesting grave markers. I have seen stones shaped like guitars (more common than you might guess), keys, cars, benches, hearts, trees, music notes, etc. The variety and creativity displayed by monument carvers is impressive and never ceases to amaze.

Some older sandstone markers are illegible after 120 years in the elements. Others are remarkably well preserved for being from the mid to late 1800s.

Some families chose giant monuments, and some a simple horizontal marker. Since burial vaults weren't always used in days gone by, some headstones have sunk into the graves as the casket decayed or the ground settled.

In our travels we have found that some cemeteries just aren't cared for like they should be. This is a growing problem nationwide.

I have found that the folks requesting a photo are very grateful when someone takes the time to help them out. I cannot remember anyone who failed to thank us for fulfilling their photo request. The wife and I get a good feeling when we do a favor for a perfect stranger. That is greatest benefit of Find-a-Grave, and I imagine the main reason so many people participate.