Christmas (Kill) Joy!

I love Christmas. Well, until this year anyway. Daily doses of radiation kind of do that to you. I guess it beats the alternative, though.

Since I am a music guy, Christmas is the Holy Grail of songdom. Lots of wonderful tunes, both sacred and secular, have a place in my heart. They also litter the radio landscape. I prefer the older versions of tunes, though some overplayed songs want to make me scream. I used to enjoy “Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt. It now causes me to change the channel posthaste. Not to sound too Grinchy, but… hey, I am only human!

Since I have a 45-minute trip to radiation one-way, I have been listening to old-time radio shows on Sirius/XM channel 148. This week, they have been playing Christmas episodes of shows from the late 1930s through about 1955. These old shows make my trips seem shorter, and lend a Christmas spirit that hearkens to a simpler time. Maybe I'll talk more about these radio shows in the future.

I usually enjoy visiting retailers this time of year. Shopping in a brick-and-mortar store may seem old fashioned, but it carries a certain satisfaction. Besides, shopping today isn't so much mom and pop shops as it is mega-retailers. My wife and I have always been impressed with our experiences at the I-469 Exit 25 Meijer store in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Not only is the store neat and clean and the staff friendly, but the other shoppers are very cordial and courteous. That is, until my last visit.

I stopped for a few grocery items after my radiation session yesterday. An eggnog coupon coerced me into buying Burger Dairy eggnog. Not like we have anything against Burger Dairy, but a half gallon of Dean’s eggnog was about the same price as a quart of Burger’s. The difference (other than my 35 cent coupon) was that the Dean eggnog expired before Christmas. What an abomination! It is eggnog, not Labor Day beer for a cookout. The Burger eggnog must have the half-life of uranium, since it was good until five years after I am dead. The 35 cent savings just sweetened the deal, so to speak.

A little old lady (sorry if that isn’t P.C.) asked me if the Burger eggnog had nutmeg in it. It did, though it was way down on the list of ingredients. The little old lady told me how much she prefers Burger custard eggnog. She had bought it by mistake on her last visit to Meijer, but said it was the best eggnog she had ever had. She mentioned that could really taste the nutmeg. The slot for the custard eggnog was empty, indicating that it may indeed be a superior holiday product.

My interaction with the little old lady was the high point of my visit. Less than a minute later, I was nearly mowed down by an employee with a cart full of liquor. The young man didn’t even bother to apologize for the near collision. In fact, I believe that he scowled at me. “Get out of my way," seemed to emanate from his very being. Either that, or it was getting near his lunch break and I was slowing him down from his goal of a Steak ‘n’ Shake value meal.

Checkout became my first deliberate unpleasant experience at this Meijer store. Only a few of the ”regular” registers were open. Since they were not offering an employee discount at the self-checkout lanes, I opted for one staffed by an employee. The young lady, and she was indeed young, did not greet me. I only had a few items, all of which fit into three sacks. One bag only contained our Christmas dinner rolls.

I had my eggnog coupon, which the girl told me to “place there” on the check writing stand. I complied. At the end of her tally, I ran my credit card. “Here you go,” she said as she handed me my receipt, and proceeded to very cordially greet the much younger male customer behind me. As I attempted to collect my three sacks of groceries from the carousel, I had to chase the last one around as the cashier bagged Mr. Goodbar’s groceries, turning the carousel, oblivious to my paid for grocery pursuit. I had become the Invisible Man, forgotten but not gone. I nearly said something snide to her, but because of the holiday I held my tongue, grabbed my nomadic sack of groceries, and hit the bricks for home.  

It saddened me to be reduced to a minor inconvenience to a young cashier at a Meijer store. I was coming from prostate cancer radiation session number 22, but was treated as if I had gone to a self-checkout. She had no way of knowing my circumstance, nor did she seem to care. I also realize that many customer service representatives are disrespected, and that occurs even more often during the holidays. I know that my cashier may be having some crisis in his/her life. Still,fawning over the next guy told me that this wasn’t the case here. An old fat guy just wasn’t a priority.

My wish is that we all may treat each other as we would like to be treated. Not just at Christmas, but all year long. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and God bless us, every one!