Facebook Immortality

I am fortunate enough to have quite a few friends on Facebook. At last check, there were around 520 of them. And yes, I do know who all of these people are. You might have many more friends on your list than that, or maybe fewer.  I see some of these Facebook friends on a regular basis. Some are relatives, and I’d like to see them more often than I do.  Unfortunately, several of my Facebook friends are no longer among the living. You might be in the same boat... having deceased Facebook friends, that is. 

I tend to look at Facebook in the morning. When checking in, I always look for the day’s birthdays. I look forward to sending someone a birthday greeting, and Facebook makes this easy. The fact that the vast majority of these natal celebrants do not reciprocate is of no consequence to me. My kick is from sending a little greeting to hopefully brighten up their day.

When someone who is no longer with us appears in my daily Facebook birthday list, I always feel melancholy. I think back on some fond memory of an experience we shared. I spent a lot of time with some of these folks. Others, I hadn’t seen in years. Still, in that moment I miss each and every one of them.

This is not how everyone on Facebook reacts. It is a tad unsettling for me when I discover that some of the dearly departed’s Facebook friends must have missed his or her obituary. It is an odd sensation reading posts wishing a dead person a happy birthday.

Now, some will acknowledge the friend’s passing by wishing them a happy birthday in heaven, or mentioning how long they have been gone. For the most part, some of their Facebook friends really didn’t know the departed that well or simply forgot that he or she was gone. A few are on autopilot when wishing happy birthday to friends on Facebook. For me, death of someone I know is etched in my mind. Maybe it’s just me.

It is surprising to me just how many of my Facebook friends are gone (besides those that unfriended me, that is.)  I decided to go through my entire friends list in search of deceased people, and discovered seven of them. I looked for two more that I knew were gone, and found that loved ones must have removed their profiles from Facebook. I kind of doubt that a dead person unfriended me. At least, I hope not. Now THAT would be creepy!

I’m certain that some family members leave the Facebook profiles of their dearly departed as an electronic memorial to their loved one’s life. People share a lot on Facebook, and you can get a decent handle on what is or was important to that person. The deceased’s memories are honored by these perpetual looks at their lives, a sort of post-mortem retrospective.

Others remain on Facebook long after their time on earth is finished simply because no one knows their Facebook password or how to delete their profile. Someday I will be one of those profiles who linger on Facebook long after departing this plane of existence. My wife likes to look at what I am seeing on Facebook, but has no idea how any of it actually works. She does not want a Facebook account and would have no idea how to delete mine.

That is okay with me. At least when I am gone, I will still be around haunting people on Facebook.