Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Sharp-Dressed Man?

Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man.
                               -ZZ Top



For 25 years of my 30 year teaching career, I wore a buttoned-down shirt and necktie to school every single day. Granted, I wore a short sleeve shirt ala 1974, but that was just the way I remembered how a teacher was supposed to dress. Besides, a short sleeved shirt was much more comfortable for me.

White shirts were not my favorite. I never wore undershirts of any type, having rejected them completely as a kid. They drove me nuts, and dad relented. Hey, T-shirts are fine as outerwear and I have a bunch of them. However, I cannot stand to wear undershirts, and as a result, my very hairy chest would be visible through my white shirt. Those chest hairs are now mostly gray, but are still just as noticeable through a white shirt. 

Modern “manscape” now dictates that males sport a chest as hairless as a baby’s bottom. Six-pack abs are a prerequisite, but hair is banned. Currently, I am sporting a kegger instead of a six-pack. I really don’t know where the hair on my arms and legs went to, but my chest and back remain hirsute. Sorry if this grosses out you youngsters, but this is the way it used to be and it is still good enough for me. Damn kids!    

Occasionally, I wore a long sleeved shirt. I didn't mind those too much. I remember a particular orchid colored long sleeved shirt that I owned. I don’t know what it was made of, but I loved wearing it. Alas, it required dry cleaning only. Because of that requirement, it wasn’t worn very often and fell by the wayside within a year. Damn dry-clean only shirts!

I have amassed a HUGE collection of neckties. Besides the dozens of normal neckties, I have well over a dozen Christmas ties. The problem is, my final five years of teaching, I did not wear a necktie at all except for concerts and graduations. I didn’t even wear them to parent-teacher conferences, which we held the week of Thanksgiving. You are probably wondering why. All of the younger teachers dressed in polos and slacks and they looked very comfortable. I wanted to feel comfortable. Bye-bye, necktie. 

I don't have much call for dressing up nowadays. Even my church attire consists of slacks and a polo shirt. Every so often, I will wear a shirt and tie and maybe a sport jacket on Christmas Eve or Easter. Even that has become a rarity.

My wife and I are going to a wedding on Saturday. I really don’t know what we will be decked out in, but I don’t think it will be as dressy as for weddings we attended 30 years ago. Life is more casual than it used to be, unless you are a captain of industry or a politician. Since I am neither, I guess a polo shirt and maybe a jacket will suffice.

I wonder if cargo shorts would be frowned upon?    

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